Good morning

Posted at at August 31, 2019 on Saturday, August 31, 2019 by |   | Filed under:

I sought him, but I found him not.

On my bed by night I swiped through profiles and sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not.

I will rise now and go about the city, in the streets and in the squares; I will seek him who my soul loves.

I sought him, but found him not.

The Leathermen found me as I went about the city:

“Have you seen him who my soul loves?”

One of them asked if I’m into father/son role play: He paddled and flogged me and I reported him to child protective services.

I said to him: “I never liked my father.”

I sought him, but I found him not.

I created an account on Recon: They immediately banned me for saying that my fetish was “monogamy.”

I sought him, but I found him not.

I traveled to Europe in search of self destruction and romance: I was offered something called Meow Meow in Belgium and then I woke up at an orgy in Portugal.

I sought him, but I found him not.

My date from Grindr stole my wallet, car keys, and a wireless keyboard: He wasn’t even cute.

I sought him, but I found him not.

O, daughters of Scruff, I adjure you: by the incels and the hoes playing the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.

Posted at at August 28, 2019 on Wednesday, August 28, 2019 by |   | Filed under:

Orange Jumpsuits

Orange jumpsuits are durable
Orange jumpsuits are comfy
Damn, I look fresh in orange with a new pair of gleaming white K-Swiss Velcro shoes
Beige khakis are ugly
Beige khakis arent snuggly
Strike a pose against the cinder blocks in a crisp white clean Hanes crew cut shirt.
Blue scrubs never fit right
Blue scrubs, too loose, too tight
But they’re easy to wash, just give me clean undies and socks
Orange jumpsuits are durable
Orange jumpsuits are comfy
I’d wear them on the outs
If cops wouldn’t scream “FREEZE” or “HALT!”
My milkshake brings all the boys out to the rec yard.

Posted at at August 07, 2019 on Wednesday, August 7, 2019 by |   | Filed under:

“Flying Monkeys”

“Flying Monkeys are enablers who continue a narcopath’s abuse by proxy.”

That pretty much summarizes a bunch of stepper fucktards (and a few dumb fucks in the gay community ... but there’s some overlap here) who have obediently chucked rocks at me on command with no questions asked.

No need to endlessly go into detail then, is there?

Because it is always the exact same story. The only thing that ever changes are the lies.

Language of Letting Go for August 6:

“Today, I will learn to trust solutions, rather than be victimized by problems. I will not use problems to prove I am helpless, picked on, or martyred. I will not point to my problems to prove how awful life is. I will learn to trust the flow of problems and solutions. God, help me solve the problems I can solve today. Help me let go of the rest. Help me believe in my ability to tackle and solve problems. Help me trust the flow. For each problem, there is a solution.”

Without a doubt the rooms of recovery have two camps:

Trauma victims and wife beating pieces of shit.

That’s alcoholism for you.

It’s funny how they have a lot of language and cliches around telling victims to shut up and be silent and stop being a victim:

“Look at your part in it.”

Yet they have nearly nothing to say with regard to telling assholes and bullies to stop being assholes and bullies. Yay, a win for 13th step and predatory culture. Knuckle sammitches for everyone if they burn the roast or don’t do the dishes, amirite?

They never examine their part in anything, they never apologize, they’d rather die, they’d rather you die. And then they’re the ones pounding their chests about their clean time and their aaahhhhhmazing program.

Yeah, okay, they’ve worked a fearless and thorough 8th and 9th step, gotcha.

And I’ll eat my own dick live on cam, lol.

I see a problem because the traumatized crowd is the more vulnerable one. They are sensitive to evil and they are allergic to injustice. They have that black and white thinking from an earlier post where they can’t just say “I don’t like this thing you said or did,” it becomes “I don’t like YOU.”

So they run into a couple of mean old biddies or dry drunk pricks and it’s not “wow, that guy was a jerk,” it’s “I’m never going back to AA.”

That’s why the website can no longer be an “NA chatroom,” because if we fuck up now then we are just some website you didn’t enjoy... rather than “wow, fuck NA, those guys were jerks.”

Some members — former members as the case may be — of the group hate my guts because I ban the fuck out of or demote bullies and I force communications out in the open so they can’t manipulate or predate or harass you or play their flying monkey game with every innocent collateral bystander who wanders in.

AA World Services is voting on enabling a chat room at their upcoming world convention.

It may be necessary for a specific audience to understand the kinds of problems and issues the group has faced and what we have done about them.

Do I personally have a need to be known as someone who has experienced these things?

Not really.

Not unless it serves to inspire someone else to survive something or better yet avoid it altogether.

A lot of these sites have the same problems — and many have been shuttered over them. I’ve talked to several other owners including In The Rooms and NA By Phone.

We all know almost *immediately* stole my idea of setting people in +RD mode to ban private messages, and it wasn’t to keep them from swapping quiche recipes, discussing the Basic Text, or sending each other thoughtful and encouraging notes LOL.

I swear some of them think that working 1, 2, and 3 means how many fingers you can get in your hoo ha on Skype, smh.

So you have to understand that while it’s “a part of my story,” it’s also “a part of our story.”

This is a part of the story for people who operate and frequent websites I’ve never been on.

I’m just the only one talking about it or trying to do something different.

What do I get out of being a victim anyway?

The boys just go “oh — that ones broken, girl she’s a defective Rubik’s cube.”

Meh. Fuck em. I was built for other things than attracting boys.

There’s your story. I’ve deleted most of the other posts.

NA World Services still sucks — they’re still a bunch of corrupt assholes who stole the intellectual property of the fellowship, they only care about selling literature and they do not give a fuck about working with addicts or if you live or die. I am not walking that one back.

Posted at at August 06, 2019 on Tuesday, August 6, 2019 by |   | Filed under:


Look up at the stars, look up at the moon:
Only you know and they know,
What they have guided you through.

God rides me like a hood rat in a stolen Camaro:
He picked me up like a needle on a record,
And then he put me in another groove.

Posted at at August 05, 2019 on Monday, August 5, 2019 by |   | Filed under:

Miss Susie

The West Virginia law firm
Miss Susie quit and left
Had Miss Susie arrested,
Accusing her of

Theres an NA chat room
Things were going fine
Miss Susie logged upon it
And endlessly she’d

Wine’s for alcoholics
It’s Susie’s drug of choice
Please moderate the channel
And take away her

Jar of massage oil,
I’ll text you but don’t tell
Miss Susie, that’s my boyfriend
Jessie was mad as

Three hundred fucking dollars
Old Stan began to yell
Miss Susie wore both jerseys
You all can go to

Yes hello your honor
I’m so sick I almost died
I have stage 3 nymphomania
My claim, it was

Send me no more emails
Tell me no more lies
World class manipulator
Playing off both sides

Posted at at August 04, 2019 on Sunday, August 4, 2019 by |   | Filed under:

I have had trouble in "yarn stores" in the past.

June: "I was quite disappointed. My friend and I visited. We are from the States and that was obvious as we were talking quite a bit. Not one of the two workers paid us any attention. I own my own shop and I am always quite curious where everyone new is from. Especially when I know that they are from out of town. They have no business whatsoever running a yarn store, they have no idea how to run a yarn store correctly!"

Susan: "It is a STORE not a social club! June has unrealistic expectations. It is a yarn store. You buy yarn and then you LEAVE."

Rachael: "I've been to June's yarn store and I'm 100% convinced that she only opened it so that she could have all her friends over for a nosy knitting circle where they interrogate everybody that comes in!"

June: "We're just interested in you and trying to get to know you better, that's all."

Belle: "I don't think you understand how yarn stores work. Maybe I am reading this wrong, but I have had trouble in yarn stores in the past. Let me try to explain: Yarn stores are meeting places where women sit together and knit for hours at a time. The idea is, you work on your project and you have conversations and get to know people and make friends. Some yarn stores welcome new people into the circle, and ask them where they are from and what they are working on. Friendly yarn stores deserve stars and compliments, because they are great to hang out in! But some yarn stores are favored by inbred groups of mean old biddies who have known each other since high school and don't want to talk to outsiders. They give you side looks if you try to join the conversation and try to make you feel uncomfortable. This kind of yarn store is less desirable-"

Susan: "Or maybe June really is as shallow and self-centered as she appears."

Belle: "It is possible that June did not express herself well. There is also a possibility that she is just a normal knitter and the people at the store really did give her the cold shoulder. I mean, it happens."

* Adapted from a Reddit discussion about actual yarn stores.

Posted at at August 02, 2019 on Friday, August 2, 2019 by |   | Filed under:


3 o'clock, just can't close my eyes
Something's wrong with me
I can't deal, I can't go to sleep
There's something in my heart
The streets keep calling me

— Thundercat, 3AM

Posted at at August 02, 2019 on by |   | Filed under: