Michelle Obama For President

I went over to mom’s house and she wanted to have a word with me.

She helped me pack and move, but I didn’t know that she confiscated a Steyr magazine and several boxes of ammo and a butane torch.

She wanted to have a word with me:

“Do you still own a gun?”

“A gun? ‘A’ gun? Do mean, like... just one? That’s like asking me if I own ‘a’ BMW. Do you mean ... just one?”

She laughed.

I explained that I’m not planning anything crazy, those boxes were garbage ammo for the range and that I could blow through a couple hundred rounds easily at the range.

She pulled a magazine out of a purse and said that my sister took one of the bullets out of it.

She asks me “Why would she do that?”

I sighed and said, “because this magazine’s loaded with hollow points for home defense.”

Mom’s mouth fell open. “Oh, those are nasty. NASTY.”

Way to go, mom, your gun grabbing antics allowed a felon to steal my ammunition.

Though mom did say she’d like to go to the range and learn.

I don’t know how I feel about that, she was just bragging about chasing someone down with a 17 inch knife last week and having the police over to interview her about that.

One of these days she’s gonna pull a knife on someone who has a gun.

Or she’s going to go to jail.

I should be the one confiscating weapons from them.

We wrapped up our visit, and she showed me the wooden spoon she used to beat us with.

It was split from breaking on one of our asses , and she had glued it together.

I scowled and asked her “why would you keep that?”

I added, “you know, I stuck that in my ass a couple of times.”

She grimaced and broke it in half and threw it in the trash.

“Jeez mom, I was just kidding!”

She said nope, I’m done with it!

Ah, good.

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